First, good surgery news! The ACLU is interested, seemingly, in a lawsuit: I have been instructed to mail over copies of my grievances pertaining to surgery, description of my dysphoria. So, I just filed my first grievance pertaining to surgery delays and the blanket bans. Given response times, things are looking like I’ll file my tort claim in a few weeks, make copies of my grievances, rendezvous with the ACLU. I am excited and anxious, y’all.

To ‘celebrate’ in a way, and to share more about my new life: here are 2 prison recipes. I am fine-tuning a microwave mozzarella stick recipe and my cheese balls recipe, so maybe expect those at some point.

Cooking supplies consist of a microwave, plastic bowl, plastic cup, and a plastic spoon. We have access to a hot water machine, an ice machine. I can get milk from a milk machine, occasionally.

I am vegetarian. Prices reflect current item prices.

Vegetarian Frito Chili Pie
Ingredients: CookQuik Instant Vegetarian Chili, 2oz ($0.83) — 1 bag per meal
CityCow Sharp Cheddar Cheese Stick, 4oz ($1.60) — ⅓-½ of stick per meal
FritoLay Frito’s original corn chips, 2oz ($0.49) — 1 bag per meal

1. Empty instant chili into plastic cup
2. Add hot water until chili is consistency of thick cake batter, stirring with spoon. Cover with lid. Let sit until firm.
3. Empty all/most of Fritos bag on top of chili.
4. Break up cheese stick by hand, as much as desired.
5. Eat.

Vegetarian Instant Ramen
Ingredients: MaruChan Ramen Noodle Soup, 3oz ($0.33) — 1 package per meal
FritoLay Cheetos (Crunchy or Flamin’ Hot), 2oz ($0.49) — Most of bag per meal
MoonLodge Hot Peanuts, 1.75oz ($0.36) — Most of bag per meal
C&H Pure Cane Sugar Cubes, 16oz, ($2.55) — 2-3 cubes per meal
HuyFung Sriacha Sauce, 17oz ($2.80) — As desired

1. Place raw noodle in plastic cup (note: I break the noodles into 4ths for fit)
2. Fill plastic cup of noodle with water until noodles are submerged.
3. Microwave for around 2 minutes 30 seconds.
4. Remove from microwave. Add seasoning packet and sugar cubes. Sir.
5. (Optional) Drink broth before adding Cheetos/Peanuts, to retain crunch.
6. Eat and enjoy.

Most of what I eat is processed (almost all). Inmates are made to work as slaves in our kitchen for minimal pay ($20-$30 per month).  I cook when I’m able. For myself. I have still foregone work in the kitchen.

Cooking for others, voluntarily, and especially loved ones, is one of the things I miss most about being free. Nowadays, I effectively shop at 7/11 24/7. ”One is punished best for their virtues”. My maid apron awaits me in 2028, I suppose.

-Comrade Candle

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