Hi all – my public records request has been denied, so I am opting to reveal as much as I may about my 3-month long investigation.
First, my housing assignment (where I live) was returned, after a lengthy battle. I do not see this as a “reversal” though, for reasons I’ll discuss.
The best sense I have made of this is that my association with a particular person here (another prisoner) was seen, in the eyes of many here, as a relationship. This came with rumors that I was engaging in sexual activity. These rumors circulating to police, I was put under investigation, first for “rape,” and then for “non-assaultive sexual activity (nasa).” My “victim” (my friend) was steadfast that this whole investigation was bullshit. None of the alleged behavior occurred.
I’m back on the same housing unit as my friend, having been cleared of wrongdoing. The investigation having occurred, many have used this phenomenon as justification for transphobic shit, either labeling me a “rapist man” or some “sex obsessed fake trans” – you’ve probably heard it already, if you know how trans-hate discourse devolves from these heavy handed discursive acts. The rumors and the fallout (socially) has destroyed a lot of the fragile (and shallow) friendships/acquaintanceships that I’ve maintained here; a lot of folx are angry that I continue talking to my friend, too, as the report was likely motivated by desires to destroy this friendship. I’m very isolated and heavily stressed, emotionally fatigued in the aftermath. There’s no “safe prison” to be trans in; different violence.
I will be talking with the head of the “Center for Hope and Safety” or whatever sometime soon – as during this whole process, I was denied some manner of aid/support the State claimed I ought to have. Hoping to talk on the weaponization/misutilization of our SA reporting process here – every “gender deviant” person I know of here, if not the entire queer population I know, has been targeted/harassed in this cruel sort of false allegation.
As for other shit: 40 credits from graduating w/ my BA. Writing poetry. Rapping w/ my friends. Playing music. Exercise, Yoga.
Please except slow replies for a while – I am fucked.

ADDENDUM 1:

Feeling slightly more adjusted, figured I’d share more specifics. I just finished the Dune chronicles – may your blade chip and shatter. I am working on a love song – its good. I may have the flu, as of writing – very sore, throat hurts. Been exercising regularly, after losing all of my muscle mass, I have some small amount returned e.g. I can do 5 push-ups, down from the 30 I could do before. Still have my abs, ofc.
Otherwise, school proves my only other pursuit, boring as all hell this term.
Please write about Dune! I may be slow in responding – fatigued and over encumbered by lockdowns – but I’ll respond. Just very depressed.

ADDENDUM 2:

Sorry for a 2nd addendum – so depressed I failed to really mail this out.
Finished 2 love songs.
Been dealing with the usual – social isolation and conflict. Classes resume – 2 terms from graduating. My dissertation is centering on “Epistemic Justice,” for my upcoming grad school shit.
Beat Breath of the Wild, gonna be playing Tears of the Kingdom soon.
Learned I’m anemic, and that my HRT was so poorly managed that I was at 291ppm estrogen (equiv. to 1st trimester of a pregnancy)… Health!
Honestly, not been in a great place. Very depressed, very heartbroken. Very lonely! I’m sure the vibe has been obvious from my poetry. Not a whole lot I can share re: specifics.

Feel free to write,
Sofia